Writing “Brokeback Mountain” Slash: A Sexual Beast Surfaces

Does writing fan fiction—or “slash,” its same-sex subgenre—typically change the life of its author? My guess is not.

Consider Kirk/Spock, Aragorn/any male not a dwarf or Hobbit, Harry Potter/some other wizard dude… these are all potentially exciting pairings from adventure stories with huge fan bases. The thousands of writers who populate these and other fandoms are enthused and dedicated, but based on personal experience, I’d be surprised to find many who are as emotionally engaged with their protagonists as are authors in the “Brokeback Mountain” fandom.

Not only did “Brokeback Mountain” compel me to write my first fiction, it unleashed an intense erotic persona that had been repressed by my Roman Catholic upbringing. I’m thankful I was of a certain maturity when this occurred so I could fully appreciate the impact. I mean, why waste it on an already-horny thirteen-year-old?

As understandable as it might be for a gay man like myself to internalize both Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist, the key was that I was an unhappy gay man ominously trapped in Ennis’s maxim: If you can’t fix it, you got a stand it. Like Ennis with his unhappy lot in life, I was “standing it” (a bad relationship) as opposed to “fixing it” (getting the hell out).

Six years on, I’m still working on fixing it (I’m a little slow), but in the meantime, writing BBM slash—everything from humor marked by word play to tragedy marked by tears—has offered a cathartic diversion. It also helps that my men swear a lot, a release in and of itself.

Most BBM slash writers and readers are female, everyone from women over seventy to girls who lie and say they’re eighteen. I don’t know if they have “internalized” the two men, but the rare, epic universality of this story that resonates with just about everyone of any sex or orientation has inspired thousands of excellent stories.

Interestingly, in this fandom devoted to what is essentially a classic romantic tragedy, most writers prefer HEA scenarios. I think women who take on the slash-writing mantle here object to Jack dying young (and violently). They feel cheated out of the “love that never dies,” as one song in the film insists.

I’m a hopeless romantic too, but I think those writers miss the main point, the beauty of the tragedy. That is not meant to belittle the quality of their work. Notably, though, many fans won’t read “dead Jack” stories, period. I’m a “canon” writer, which means I stick faithfully with Annie Proulx’s novella or Ang Lee’s film. Fortunately only a couple of my stories fall into the “dead Jack” category, with most concerning Ennis and Jack very much alive and kicking.

Slash based on major films usually pairs heterosexual men, but in “Brokeback Mountain,” the men actually are lovers. BBM slash writers therefore have a ready-made physical and psychological base from which to develop the relationship further. It helps when dealing with a wide range of readers that certain common assumptions—about character, for example—are shared.

The anonymity of slash authorship allows me to “publish” without a story being “perfect.” This matters insofar as I’d never written fiction before my first posting on Christmas Eve 2005. I was so affected by the movie that I felt compelled to write a story about Jack’s death. Writing it was cathartic, but sharing it was exhilarating. The ego-gratifying feedback really got the ball rolling.

Hiding behind an avatar (a sultry, shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal) encouraged me from the start to amp up the sex. When I wrote the “first night in the tent,” a consensual rape scene, I discovered a testosterone-driven talent for detailed descriptions of male sexual responses and explorations of the attendant male psychology. This rapid-fire narrative ended with a “raging load of cum” (you can always tell when a guy is writing), apparently a decent enough first effort at explicit sex that readers requested the “second night in the tent.”

 

This scene exemplifies romance—with the men kissing, hugging and crawling all over one another—and called for a slow, erotic approach. I loved getting inside Ennis’s head as he got a blow job from “the most beautiful man in the world”… and I loved getting inside Jack’s head as he gave it. One reader assured me that I’d written erotica and not smut, and that was encouraging.

As in real life, my BBM slash, while hot and graphic, considers the fact that what is not said is as important as what is said, if not more so. The sex is frequently accompanied by humor, verbal hijinks or pathos. I toy with assumptions. Some consider Jack to be experienced, but I write him as a m/m virgin. Ennis is widely viewed as the “man” in the relationship, and readers applauded when he finally bottomed for Jack.

Many authors in the BBM fandom write lovely, hot m/m sex. But once female readers realized there was a male on board, they also developed a taste for the visceral. The recent discussion on the C&D blog about the male orgasmic experience offers insight into women’s curiosity about male physiology.

One woman’s response to a typically wet story was especially gratifying: “Semen honestly isn't a big part of my erotic world, but if I read much more of your work, I suspect it WILL be!”

I’ve revealed myself to just one reader. A Jungian, she identifies with Ennis psychologically. My story “Deliverance” helped her find her inner Jack, Ennis’s complementary persona. We’ve become the best of friends, and now she’s my BBM beta reader. I’m intuitive and she’s analytical, so it’s a perfect pairing. Thanks to her, my novella-length “Deliverance” has a much stronger ending.

While I guard my anonymity, many writers and readers don’t. These “Brokies” stage barbecues, readings and pilgrimages. Such is the sense of community that this remarkable story has engendered.

I avoid BBM gatherings, though, even readings. I could read erotic tales of Jack and Ennis, but some of my stories make me cry. That’s how intricate the emotional web is that “Brokeback Mountain” has wrought. These men are me… and their hopes, desires, uncertainties and vulnerabilities are mine too. I can share that in writing, but not over a hotdog.

About the author

After doing a bunch of other stuff in life, Randy Robbins realized when he started publishing slash fiction in the “Brokeback Mountain” fandom (as Belgianboy) that he was meant to be a writer. Recent efforts also include fiction, memoir, humor and gay erotica not related to Annie Proulx's lovelorn cowboys. 

The author is a native of the industrial Midwest, but he'd rather move to Montana, where he could enjoy mountains, blazing red sunsets... and the solitude to write. And when the mood struck him, the company of a handsome, strapping cowboy.

His “Brokeback Mountain” fan fiction (the complete oeuvre) can be found at http://belgianboy.livejournal.com.

Other m/m erotica can be found at http://randyrobbins.net.